MASSIVE DUMMY SPIT…so out of Character!

Saturday afternoon we played cricket, we elected to bowl, not a bad day in the field, kept well, no byes and no dropped catches. So we finished at 6.30pm, wandered into the dressing rooms then snuck out to garb a beer before wandering back in to finish getting changed. When we arrived back at the rooms ( our home ground too ) I was surprised to see some of the players from the grade above, in the change room smacking a tennis ball about and generally being a fkn waste of oxygen………see where this is going!.

So having sat down, I reached over to the gear bag to shuffle some stuff around and A tennis ball slams into the wall above me head!…hmmmmmmmm!

I look up and find that the Vice Captain of our seconds who happens to be a fkn muppet and also happens to be the muppet who cause some issues with my young bloke just recently was hitting the ball.

I then explained to MUPPET VIC CAPTAIN that its not the place to be hitting the tennis ball about like they were, people are getting changed, they will do damage ( sweeps are around wall ) and if you hit me with the ball, it will be fkn on!

( fair warning given and notice period considered acceptable) ,

terms of engagement.. CLEARLY STATED

So having delivered this with just the right amount of growl from me and a committee member ( ME) I thought we might proceed with getting changed. Standing up, and the reaching down to the back, the tennis ball slams into the side of my head!

PING! ( that would be the safety coming off and me going from action to INSTANT!

Reaching into my gear bag, I grabbed my helmet which also had my gloves inside of it, I snatched the helmet by the wire face grill and fully round armed it across the room, approximately 6 meters, maybe 5 meters into the wall about 2 ft from the head of the fk tard who hit the ball. he being the Vice Captain on the twos of course.

Now how much propellant was behind the helmet…its cracked right down the middle…split would be a better term and these things are almost bullet proof. The initial projectile was followed up by a charge and verbal assault and the tool, its a pity we had some juniors there who were playing seniors with the idiot Vice Captain and I guess what they were party to can be no worse than what this fkn idiot is teaching them. The kids are 15 and 14…but examples must be set.

Mine was certainly not the best….and a first where the kids are concerned, but the fkn idiot had it coming..I know what sent me over the edge was the fact that issues were already in play with this bloke ref the young fella of mine and as soon as he stepped over the line shazxam!.

FKN RETARDS at sporting clubs…they make life hard, they do fuck all and to be honest, I would not lose sleep if he left, now if he wants to pick up a pen, or computer or whatever else is required to keep the club running like the rest of us do…then I might be a little more forgiving. But not this time!…it would have gotten him square in the chest with a little less curve!


AND ABOUT FKN THE DOG. I replied in that thread, but here it is again..sorry all, been very TARDY with me blog.

OK..FKN THE DOG as the phrase is known, is utilised very frequently within the mining industry. It means you are wasting time, bumming around trying to look busy perhaps or just staying out of sight and doing FA. Holding the DOG and FKN IT!…is SERIOUS WASTING OF TIME and one would be considered a legend on that day.


11 thoughts on “MASSIVE DUMMY SPIT…so out of Character!

  1. Someone’s kid did a similar thing to me recently while we were out in a restaurant.
    I took the offending projectile and said ‘Thanks. This is mine, now.’
    A lot of whining ensued about the thrower wanting his weapon back & I had the satisfaction of saying ‘No.’
    I like your method better.

    IT HAS ITS ADVANTAGES QUOKKA!…lol…some draw backs too!

    cheers H

  2. You told him to stop, he targeted you, you responded.

    Think that’s called ’cause & effect’.

    Shame about your kit, but.

    yeah what I thought, Very fair warning, Tired bloke, beer in hand at the end of a day in the field does not make the longest tolerance threshold…..

    And spewing about the helmet!!!!


  3. That bloke owes you a helmet.
    I made a comment a couple of posts back about you being too calm. This is more FKN LIKE IT!!!!

    LOL…YA knew it couldnt fkn last!


  4. Maybe even be prepped with something to go (written), if he decides to take it further. When they go H we need to talk, you can go damn right here’s my complaint about his actions.

    In the end I think you set a good example, idiots like that should not be tolerated.

    s’wat I recokns too Bangar..fkn muppets, he’s lined up, thats for sure, but I suspect he will make nothing of it!


  5. The new helmet cost me 89.00 fkn dollars, of course I then discovered that I needed a new grip for the bat, new trackie dacks as well…..then I ran like fk before the shopping fairy took over any more..fkn hell, next it will be H’s version of Straight eye for the queer guy…or somfin to that fkn effect.

  6. Being a smartass kid is a dumb thing to do in the locker room of a sport that relies heavily on a stick to play said sport. I expect the flat end of a cricket bat across the arse would have been an effective attention getter as well.

    Of course, we have the term ‘screwing the pooch’ which most likely is descended from ‘fucking the dog’ but has a different meaning. Ours usually indicates getting into a bad or hopeless position, i.e. ‘He really screwed the pooch when he hit that parked car while drunk.’

  7. DAWG..we do too, sept for some reason the mining / quarry / boiler maker game here, uses it for basically doing fk all. being a bludger if you will, its diff, especially when somebody who has not heard the term before hears it!…WTF!.

    YEAH..hes fkn lucky i didnt have a bat in me had…or a cricket ball!

  8. It was nice of you to give him a warning, Havsy. I wouldn’t have. I’d have confiscated the muppet’s tennis ball immediately after the near miss, and told him that he wasn’t getting it back until he promised to play nice. You know, like all mothers do when bratty children misbehave.

  9. Not all mothers, Catty.
    Lots of parents don’t use boundaries or consequences as a child rearing tool.
    I’m avoiding the local pool until swimming season for the kiddies is over because I am sick of dealing with bratty kids whose parents smile while they commit atrocities. Can’t believe the parents who look on and do nothing while their kids run around the pool and bomb dive people in the lap lanes.
    I took on a kid in Coles one day who was running up and down the aisles with his brother and who pushed an old lady out of the way in order to win the race. The father appeared and then yelled at me for correcting his son.
    I had to walk away from that one because it was obvious that the guy was ready to commit violence rather than teach his kids acceptable behaviour. Several staff members thanked me for saying something because they have to deal with a lot of that behaviour and they said that they’re discouraged from saying anything to the parents because invariably the parents will yell at the person protesting bad behaviour rather than the child that’s responsible for it.

  10. Cat, I was working on the theory that he had brains…BAD And he has been exceptionally quiet as well..message got across I suspect.

    QUOKKA….THATS REALLY fkn shits me, had it happen in our previous house, the child I managed to grab by the arm….and deliver that little squeeze that makes them freeze and look at you…….delivering the through gritted teeth and death look…”SLOW DOWN”. fkr deserved it..parent should have been sterilised at birth! and that was after about an hour of the shit and people all over just about ready to kill the kid.

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