Saturday afternoon we played cricket, we elected to bowl, not a bad day in the field, kept well, no byes and no dropped catches. So we finished at 6.30pm, wandered into the dressing rooms then snuck out to garb a beer before wandering back in to finish getting changed. When we arrived back at the rooms ( our home ground too ) I was surprised to see some of the players from the grade above, in the change room smacking a tennis ball about and generally being a fkn waste of oxygen………see where this is going!.
So having sat down, I reached over to the gear bag to shuffle some stuff around and A tennis ball slams into the wall above me head!…hmmmmmmmm!
I look up and find that the Vice Captain of our seconds who happens to be a fkn muppet and also happens to be the muppet who cause some issues with my young bloke just recently was hitting the ball.
I then explained to MUPPET VIC CAPTAIN that its not the place to be hitting the tennis ball about like they were, people are getting changed, they will do damage ( sweeps are around wall ) and if you hit me with the ball, it will be fkn on!
( fair warning given and notice period considered acceptable) ,
terms of engagement.. CLEARLY STATED
So having delivered this with just the right amount of growl from me and a committee member ( ME) I thought we might proceed with getting changed. Standing up, and the reaching down to the back, the tennis ball slams into the side of my head!
PING! ( that would be the safety coming off and me going from action to INSTANT!
Reaching into my gear bag, I grabbed my helmet which also had my gloves inside of it, I snatched the helmet by the wire face grill and fully round armed it across the room, approximately 6 meters, maybe 5 meters into the wall about 2 ft from the head of the fk tard who hit the ball. he being the Vice Captain on the twos of course.
Now how much propellant was behind the helmet…its cracked right down the middle…split would be a better term and these things are almost bullet proof. The initial projectile was followed up by a charge and verbal assault and the tool, its a pity we had some juniors there who were playing seniors with the idiot Vice Captain and I guess what they were party to can be no worse than what this fkn idiot is teaching them. The kids are 15 and 14…but examples must be set.
Mine was certainly not the best….and a first where the kids are concerned, but the fkn idiot had it coming..I know what sent me over the edge was the fact that issues were already in play with this bloke ref the young fella of mine and as soon as he stepped over the line shazxam!.
FKN RETARDS at sporting clubs…they make life hard, they do fuck all and to be honest, I would not lose sleep if he left, now if he wants to pick up a pen, or computer or whatever else is required to keep the club running like the rest of us do…then I might be a little more forgiving. But not this time!…it would have gotten him square in the chest with a little less curve!
AND ABOUT FKN THE DOG. I replied in that thread, but here it is again..sorry all, been very TARDY with me blog.
OK..FKN THE DOG as the phrase is known, is utilised very frequently within the mining industry. It means you are wasting time, bumming around trying to look busy perhaps or just staying out of sight and doing FA. Holding the DOG and FKN IT!…is SERIOUS WASTING OF TIME and one would be considered a legend on that day.