I’ve blogged about this to a degree before, how the kids get older and the life of the parents becomes seems to gather more free time. Given the Havock Monsters are 18 and 15, the boys are very self sufficient. Except of course when it comes to cooking and cleaning, doing the dishes and the myriad of other domestic chores. Don’t get me wrong, they are both very capable of doing such…it just getting the fkrs motivated to do it. This usually in involves a small shout or ..in the case of the youngest fella, planting my size 10 foot in his arse. BUT HEY..he is 15 and it does seem to be a repeat of the eldest…more time spent sleeping, more time spent not thinking about others.
If the young fella follows suit…to the eldest that is, he will grow out of that. Either that…or I will have him stuffed and mounted over the fire place.
Last Sunday though, both the Eldest fella, his girlfriend ( doesn’t that bring a whole new set of fkn issues..but I will post about all THAT later on), decided that they would head into town and go to the beach. SHOCK HORROR…he asked the young fella to come along as well, so having doled out some cash to the young bloke..off they went.
And here is where ………. it changed. Me and Mrs H at home alone, no kids etc..said that before, but this time they did not return until 11pm, which we knew was about their arrival time. So then the day needed to be filled in, at short notice I guess you might say.
Me, personally, I can think of LOTS OF THINGS..that would have filled in the time…. unfortunately..Mrs H was not on the same wave length, so we made a few call’s and pottered off to visit Friends.
Now, like most people I guess, we have friends that are at various stages of their lives, some, their kids have left home or are in their 20’s, other have young children, in the 5-8 bracket, a couple of other have babies.
My very close..or should I say, older mates, with whom I grew up with, are 300 k’s away in Horsham, they, like us, started the family early, not sure what happened there, I think with the girls its a real..she has one..I want one thing, or some crazy fkn internal pressure thing they seem to exhibit. But their kids are all close to the ages of my boys.
So finding ourselves at a loose end at short notice would have been a sinch, had we been up home. BUT WE LIVE IN MELBOURNE..well, the outer god like reaches of course. But what it did prompt, was that I need to start planning / developing if you will, life after the kids and with Mrs H.
It seems, that for such a lengthy period, your life is spent wrapped up, looking after the little darlings, footy, cricket, Karate, Tae Kwon Do or whatever it is they decided to pursue. Then, schooling gets rather important, apprenticeships and helping them look and fit into the work force. But once that all starts to bear fruit, they start to move on with their lives.
I guess, hell I know they will continue to be a part of our lives…I’ll probably have to kick the fkrs out of the house at 35 years of age..but they do take off, giving you a lot of free time.
So now…. we have to switch gears again, myself and Mrs H do plenty together, but that’s based on minimal time available..now all of a sudden it’s a lot more time.
Great place to be..but Its really different and I will wager, something very important with which I shall work on. For whilst it’s a great time and thing, the little voice in my head is telling me, that you need to get this right. WHY!. Well lots a free time can mean you both end up under each other’s feet, so there must be a balance; I think also, there is a rediscovery element here as well. It’s a case of finding things we BOTH really like to do together without the kids and of course…without breaking the bank.
Of recent, its been looking at the warmer climes, but that’s still 5 years away, once the youngest is at work or Uni, more likely work as he wants to be a chippy. But I will tell you one thing, we have thought about heading north and that leaves the kids down here, tug’s at the heart strings a bit to be honest. Myself and Mrs H in QLD and the boys down here….mmmm, not so sure.
Anyways..the other issue is when your kids start going out of an evening..I’ll post on THAT one later. For now, I have to start focusing on me and Mrs H.