Gladiatorial day of cricket.

Well, the fkn bastards last week smacked 277 from 70 overs, was a hard yard day out in the field…and to be honest with the batting line up we had..always was going to be hard to achieve. And well, you play with what they deal you, but being FKN SHIFTY, I also had my eye on the bigger picture, because if they gained an OUTRIGHT! victory, that is, we fall short on their first inning score by MORE than 80 runs, they can inforce the follow on, if they bowl us out again, short of their FIRST innings total, then instead of six points they get 10.


NWO that had me concerned, because they wpould leap from us by two points into fourth place and SMASH the fk outta our percentage…and gues what, we fell short on first inning and they inforced the follow on. SO with 29 over left to BAT..out we went into the couldren. I decided to OPEN with the eldest, and he [promprty smashed 34 then edged a ball to the keeper chasing a VERY FKN WIDE BOUCY BALL, which he had do the ball before and missed, AND, then told him to leave them the fk ALONE!….NAHHHHHH, CANT DO THAT.


Anyways, I stayed at the crease for 14 overs for a fkn paltry 10 runs, but it was never about the runs, we had to deny them the OUTRIGHT WIN..which should have been fairly fkn easy. so I have three bruises on my left leg, a BIG ARSE FK OFF BRUISE from the OPENING bowler 1 inch below my Sternum, which hurts like fk, but not as much as if it had HIT me in the sternum…guessing that migh have meant the quacks i reckon…and then..>WELL THE REST OF THE TEAM MADE FK ALL, threw away their fkn wickets and so forth and our LAST wicket FELL with one over to go!.


BUT..HERES THE KICKER..ONE BLOKE…ONE FKN CNT, ARSE WIPE , FKN TOOL , I’ve done this before decided NOT to show for day to and you cannot SUB a BATTER, only a fielder. so playing two innings, one player short and missing on stopping the OUTRIGHT by ONE FKN OER…CO’s this FKTARDED, ILL KAP THE FKR, HES NEVER FKN PLAYING IN MY TEAM AGAIN DIN’t fkn SHOW UP!… H NOT FKN HAPPY!.



REMEMBER, its not all about winning and its not like we are playing for sheep stations.




10 thoughts on “Gladiatorial day of cricket.

  1. I gotta say that I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. This might as well be written in ancient High Klingon.

    Sounds like (as I translate this into baseballese) your team is in a hitting slump, you were trying to avoid a sweep (and failed), you got hit several times, and one of your key players didn’t show up for the game. Yep, all that will ruin your day. Sorry to hear it.

    You know, there was a kid up here in the States-played catcher for his baseball team. He took a ball in the chest (he had the chest protector on) and it him in the sternum, which impacted his heart. There’s a certain point in the cardiac cycle where a blunt trauma will mess up the heart. Killed him. A one-in-a-billion shot (catcher’s gear is pretty good at blocking most impacts). So hits to the chest aren’t anything to mess with-if any of your guys take one and are complaining of shortness of breath afterward-don’t screw around with it. Get an ambo OR get them to a hospital.

  2. DAWG!..LOL!! it. Um…I’m not really up with baseball, but I’ll see if I cannot mod it enough to explain an OUTRIGHT win.

    lets say base ball onl;y has TWO innings per side ( batting or pitching) over 2 DAYS!. there are a minimum number of balls to face which we group here into OVER, thats six balls pitched or bowled, then we swap ends and another bowler has six and so on. but I’ll stick to me modded baseball.

    Teams are YANKEYS!…co I love’em, and…… REDSOCKS!.

    Redsocks bat first make 277 runs over 2 days and then WHOLE side is out. ( you only get to keep batting is ya dont go out. from the batting side.)

    So, all out for 277. Then the red socks BAT, and are all out for 118. Now as we are short of the Yankee’s first inning total by more than 80 runs they can enforce what we call the FOLLOW ON. Thats put us back in to bat again, because they reckon they can bowl or in this case, PITCH us out again, before we make their FIRST inning score.

    They have already taken first inning points. So if we make their first inning score in our second dig at bat, we stop the outright and them getting a total of 10 points.

    I’m gunna confuse you in a minute possibly, but short version is, we didnt make the total in our second dig, were short 1 batter and all he would have had to face is 6 balls to stop the outright!..Cool!.


    To get a reverse outright WIN, which does happen, we would have made say, 400 runs in our First Hit after the Yankees, meaning we passed their score and added some. Now as the captain i can pick the point at which we do this or wait till we are all out, but as you have a set number of balls per day, I have to leave enough left in the TOTAL days allocation. , to PITCH at them and get them all out.

    eg. call it 100 overs per day @ 6 balls per over, or 600 balls for a TOTAL of 1200 pitches over the two days.

    Yankees used up 300 on their first hit ( Red socks Pitching). for 277 runs
    Redsocks then used 300 balls on their first hit, but got bowled / pitched out for 118, still short and the Yankees put us into bat. we bat again, go nuts, make 400 runs off another 150 balls and DECLARE its called. We put them ( Yankees) into bat. Have 150 balls to pitch / bowl at them before they make our 400 run total. If we do get them all out before the TOTAL we made, then we get the REVERSE outright win and ten points, they get their FIRST innings win 6 points.

    Actual test matches at the Australian team level are different to this in certain areas, club level, this is how it works.

    Hope I confused ya!

  3. Should have had your quicks bowling to Mitchell Johnson’s bowling plans. Man of the match with nine wickets and a half century. And most importantly he’s not a Victorian

  4. Yeah, that helps a bit-though I think I need to actually watch a round of cricket to get the game. That’s a tall order here-not much of it shown or played.

    At any rate, I understand that your guy didn’t show up. And that’s no damn good.

  5. You’re not going onto the field in the full blaze of an Aussie summer to lose. That fucker who didn’t show up? No invite to the end of season piss up. One lousy fucking over, that sucks large balls. Your batting must have made Bill Lawry weep with joy, being a proud and boring Victorian ‘n all. You’re not considering pigeon training are ya Havsy?

  6. Merry Christmas to you and all your family, Havsy. I hope Santa brought you everything you wanted – and if he didn’t, that you were able to hunt the bastard down and kick his sorry arse.

  7. I’m betting you’re about as happy as I am with regard to the current so-called “Ashes” tour…

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