okay, so last week, well, actually a couple of weeks ago we started looking at another vehicle, for a couple of reasons really.

Firstly, the WB Ute, whilst I love it, needs some more lovin, too facilitate this it needs to come off the road and without a second vehicle..well, I guess I could have the dunny door after I pry it from the wifes cold dead hands, that also screws up getting the washing done, cooking, having kids dropped off to school, parties and all manner of other stuff, which to be brutally honest simply does not bare contemplation.

Secondly, the eldest will in short order get his licence and then I will receive the ” Can I borrow the car keys please day, see ya later can i have them please”…etc etc. So to forstall this somewhat, I made a deal with the eldest bloke. he will have the use of the UTE, for 2 years, during which time he must save enough and buy his own car, I will pay the insurance and rego, he runs it and repairs it and IF, he smashes it, he is simply FKN DEAD!. Good deal I thought.

Now thirdly and not least the most unimportant, the boss lady has the cleaning business, this is resulting in kilometers being put on the Calais and being a 5.7 ltr V8, its not exactly geared to town driving, in terms of fuel economy that is. Granted, the boss lady loves all that power on tap, much like having me on tap i guess, but none the less, its still not really the correct implement for her day to day travels.

So we started looking and I have an aversion towards the Rodeos / Colorados, the RA series onwards in particular in the 3 ltr VCD Turbo Diesel, in a manual…and we found what we were looking for early last week. This also means I get A/ C for weekends and the boss lady will use it for work during the week..TWO BIRDS and ALL THAT!


Having gone through all those hoops, finances part of the vehicle, just over 60 percent and laying a deposit on the balance we agreed, I would aquire the 2007, single cab, 4×2 rodeo, manual. Nice rig actually, has a tray and a cannopy as well, done just on 103,000 kilometers, which for a diesel should be fk all. NOW HERE IS WHERE IT STARTS TO FALL APART!.

I arranged for all the fkn paperwork to be completed and insurance etc and having completed all this late last friday, arranged that we would collect it A.M Tuesday ( Tomorrow), fairly generous of me I thought. They neeed to have a raodworthy done and a wheel alignment and balance for the two front boots, plus a service and detail, so a full day was more than ample…SO I FKN THOUGHT!.

Because a FKN MUPPET rang me at 4pm this arvo and said it was found during the road worthy it needed two new tyres, so they ordered them ( light truck tyres ) and they would not be in until 2PM, TUESDAY…THAT ABOUT 4 FKN HOURS after I was due to pick up the ute, its also after its fkd my whole day, fkd the delivery of me to the car yard plans, fkd the wifes day and made me so fkn angry you would simply not believe. I called the car yard people CUNTS and I do not use that word lightly, fkn idiots and also that I could possibly buy FKN LIGHT TRUCK TYRES FROM SAFEWAY!, they are that fkn common.

I aslo imparted the directive, that should the car not be ready for me to drive off in, at 4PM Tomorrow, they could shove the deal and car up their collective fkn arses. Talk about taking the shine off, of buying a new vehicle.



14 thoughts on “FKN CAR DEALERS!

  1. H, what did you expect from second hand car dealers? Mind you I dropped the Ford off and told him to value it and call. Check in the mail for the full amount.

  2. ‘s fucking Kermit. He’s fucking with you – rainbow connection style.

    FKN muppet.

  3. Bangar, its a FKN HOLDEN FKN DEALER!, I nearly bought a new one, then went..FK THAT!, too dear for a second run about!, I should have known better, but a mainstream dealer, WHERE, BTW, we get the dunny door serviced SOMETIMES, WELL. THEY CAN GET FKN FKD!..

    BLARKON, I’m gunna cap that fkn FROGS ! FKN ARSE the next time i see the fury fkn muppet fkn fkr!

  4. I’ve been talking to the clowns as well lately. They’re all full of shit and everyone knows it, including themselves. Your convo’s are always a thinly veiled servings of shit.

  5. Fuck the dealers, buy private or from govt auctions. Actually – govt auctions would have been a brilliant place to look for a Rodeo/Colorado. Decent service history and all.

  6. JUMBUCK..FK ME I did think about these some time ago, circle work in front wheeeeel drive.hmmmmm.

    MOKO..yeah, fkn bastards, all the same.

    Doc, I did think about it, CTB for a personal loan are 14.5%, St george, who we do not bank with 10.5%, I had 5K deposit on the car, so basically had to borrow 10K, which was as much as I was kinda prepaired to go too, NOT a fan of thgis debt thing, now its just the ute and house and NOTHING ELSE!…BEEN BURNT BEFORE! they say.. but I hear ya..auctions are def the way to go

  7. Sir H.,

    I bow before your mastery. When I read the title I thought that I was going to read about you throttling some poor sales guy cause he said he needed to check with his manager again on the price.

    You called the guy a cunt because he was going to be late putting new tires on the car? Fuck, you are hardcore.


  8. will not believe what I am about to tell ya. duting negotiations, I got the price down by an initial 1K, the rep came back and asked if I still wanted the FREE promotional IPOD as the discount had wiped this out, I LOOKED AT HIM!, and he said” OK, you still do!, YEAH!, FKN OATH, and the free tank of fuel and matts on the floor as well, and the 3 yr 175k Warranty as well!.

    I hate car dealers almost as much as I hate politicians. I have mates who simply shake there head when I go with them to purchase a vehicle ( 4 yrs as nat fleet manager in a previous life). I take NO FKN PRISONERS! and I love the special conditions section of the contract. I didnt put it on this one, but the delivery date is usually specified in this section ( I always add it in), and THEN, THEN!, the fkn bastards really know that a fk up on delivery ( PD) will land them in the shit!. And the thing is, once in the dealership…I LOVE IT!, I go spastic if they fk up..BUT its my cash, my rules and woe betide the fktard who is dumb enough to cross me, its prolly a wonder some dealer has not put a contract out on me. FRIENDS….NONE when buying a car!

  9. If I ever become President, I’m appointing you Secretary of State. With your negotiating skills, you’d get the Chinese to be paying all of us to buy their stuff!

    I hate dealing with car salesmen/sales managers myself. An experience usually comparable to getting a root canal.

    Your boy got a good deal. He gets a truck and you get the (much bigger) insurance bill (he will be buying his own petrol, I take it)! And if he cracks it up, he joins the leg infantry or hitches a ride with his friends. Fair enough on your part.

  10. So why didn’t you get one of those Great Wall utes? As far as the dealer’s concerned, fuck ’em. I’ll be doing the rounds some time in the next few months, looking at a Mazda 3 SP, probably second hand. I’ll rehearse your speech so I get the delivery perfected. I’m thinking of using Basil Fawlty as a base and topping it off with your dialogue. I like the bity about the special conditions including the delivery date. Yeah, ream the cunts.

  11. Auctions are the go. Specially if you can go in pre-armed with finance from your own bank rather than taking the shite from off the dealer. Mind you with NZ used car prices I haven’t needed to go for finance for years, and now with the wagon through work even less need to. Doesn’t stop me looking at the ads on the net thinking ‘Fuck that’d be cool…’

    Grate Wall have refused to give cars to any of the major motoring mags to evaluate them. They are clearly and obviously grievous crap made from tinplate and the remains of political prisoners. Fuck em with a specially deployed fucking stick.

    Therbatron – Mazda 3s are very decent, biggest selling car (just on private sales) in Oz – or alternately a Focus (SP equiv is the ST I think?) because it’ll be lower resale and Ford are marginally cheaper on parts and service. Actually a Volvo C30’s similar under the skin too but might be a bit too IKEA for ya.

  12. YD..More than happy to be sec state, so long as I get Sec Def as well..CAPPEM ALL!

    Therbs, have had a look at them, IF I was going to spend more I would have been tempted. They are a Rodeo / Colorado, model before the current one, I believe they boiught th rights to the Triton motor, 2.4 and will by the end of this year ( maybe) have a diesel out..THAT will send a spanner in the works. cheap, good warranty and diesel…they will sell’em thats for sure.

    BUT!, Like doc, It will be a cold day in fkn hell before I buy a CHINESE made for fkn nothing shaft the poor fkrs car!. I would lower myself to a VOLVO before one of them!..hell!, even a fkn FORD! POS!.

  13. Doc said. Auctions are by far. much cheaper, if you do ya research and go armed. you will not normally go wrong!

    ‘ the opinons displayed here are those of the author, he accepts no liability for any issues arising out of person(s) following his suggestions if it goes all fkn pear shaped!

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