ITS THE WUMMEN who are causing all the accidents

I sat down the other day, having read an article in the paper and penned this, then had another thought, so i pinged it off to a literary person of some note..not sure what kind of not, but having received back a reply like ‘ DO YOU WANT TO GET ME KILLED”, I kinda figured that perhaps his intestinal fortitude might not!,now been of the same calibre as mine….well, it MIGHT have been a national publication..but its pussyish if ya ask me.

SO here it is!

ITS THE WUMMEN who are causing all the accidents

In today’s herald Sun on page 21 is an article regarding SAFETY and TYRE Pressures.

Beaurepaires recently conducted a Nation wide survey which yielded quite astonishing results, especially in this day and age where we are under constant bombardment on the ROAD TOLL. the gummits forever in our eyes and eyes and possibly even in brail as well, that they are always striving to reduce the road toll, this for some unknown reason does not take into account the FACT that 800 new babies or thereabouts are born in Australia EVERY DAY!. Now if you push that out, it means we have 800 new drivers on the road..OR THERE ABOUTS EVERYDAY!. That people is a sum total of roughly 292,000 possible people who will go get their drivers licence and jump on our roads.

OK NOT everybody gets their Licence as soon as they turn eighteen and 18 years ago, the birth rate might not have been quite as high as it is now…given all the give aways our pollies have dispensed recently to JUMP start the population, excuse the pun there…JUMP!.

Anyways, even if it was half the rate, its 150 thousand drivers ever year that get added to our already very bloody poorly managed road system. Now having a national road toll that each year climbs or drops a weee bit, for example, in 2008 and total of 1464 people lost their lives on our roads, a drop of 8.4 percent on the previous year. Yet, we would have added over 150,000 additional drivers onto the road!…Still with me.

Well the short version is that our percentage of drivers killed based on the ever increasing numbers on the road is LESS LESS and MORE BLOODY LESS every year, year on year, on year.!.

But I have found a kicker in the pack. It seems that one in three female drivers fail to have the correct tyre pressures in their cars. Now that’s gunna affect braking, handling and their overall performance on the road..AND WE ALL KNOW HOW GOOD THAT PERFORMANCE IS..I MEAN REALLY!. So, I think the gummite might want to re think their MALE focused strategy, I reckon also, that MY INSURANCE COMPANY MIGHT WANT TO GIVE ME A REBATE..after all, I kinda figured out long ago that the MALE!..really is the dominate species..well, long as the wife doesn’t hear that…all should be good I reckon.

Now ring your wife or girlfriend and tell them to GET OUTSIDE and CHECK the TYRE Pressures on their car…and yours whilst they are at it..please might also be good


9 thoughts on “ITS THE WUMMEN who are causing all the accidents

  1. One small flaw in you calculations. There may be 150,000 additional drivers onto the road but have you taken into account all those who die each year thereby rendering them ineligible to have a licence or drive a car and those who are too old to drive?

  2. HEY…Lets not worry about the tin tacks OK Big fella, sheszzz, ya will FK UP me calculations, its got an error rate of 5 percent….or so!

  3. Sadly my dear, insurance company statistics show that males have more accidents. This may be slowly changing, as the young ladies starting to drive now and in the future change their habits, i.e. – prepared to drink drive and drive as aggressively as their male peers. I remember when I first got my licence, it was also a licence for my guy to drink as much as he wanted whenever we were out, ‘cos it was MY job to drive home. I think that was standard in my generation and my Mum’s, not so much now.

    Another interesting tidbit, lots and lots more women my age being done for drink/drug driving. Probably trying to make up for all those years we were the designated drivers ; )

  4. And, not wanting to sound all devils-advocate here, but just what proportion of men also had the wrong tyre pressures? Or did they not ask that?

  5. It does seem that filling the petrol tank, also seems to top off the water and oil, and correctly inflates the tires for all too many vehicle operators.

    If the government was serious about the road toll it would retest drivers, confiscate mobile phones being used while driving (amazing how much of that I see) and ensure people could actually drive.

  6. There are some moments that even I have to concede some women should have their licenses taken off them and torn up in front of them. One particular moment is when kids are dropped off and picked up from school. You want an extreme survival driving course for free? Go there.

  7. For the dummies this is how it works: once a week before you start the engine you check the fluid levels – oil, coolant, transmission, clutch, brake fluid, washer reservoir. Most of them have full and empty lines so you can tell what needs replenishment. If the oil on the dipstick is dark then it needs changing. I also have a proper tyre pressure gauge ‘cos I don’t trust the ones at servos – people drive over them – so I also check tyre pressures (including the fucking spare!) before I hit the garage. Then you go and fill the tank and top up whatever needs topping up.

  8. Hav:

    I am missing a bunch of your fan fic’s could you send them birmoverse at yahoo dot com dot and I’ll put them on the miniburger.


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