TRAINS..and guess who …..V FKN LINE For three months now I have caught the V-line service. That’s catch a V-line on the ballarat line from Melbourne to ballarat or the opposite way if you please. If you wander over to the V/Line web site I am sure you will find pictures of BUMBIES new fast rail trains which to be honest do run on the line. The issue is that they tend to RUN very fucking infrequently and on most occasions they tend to run express from ballarat, stopping only once they reach Sunshine station. So I better let you know before we go any further what the stops are and also, that the colour of the language is only going to deteriorate from here on. The train line stops are as follows. Ballarat Ballan Bacchus Marsh Melton Rockbank Deer Park Sunshine North Melbourne Southern Cross station. So the first bitch, well that would be the general state of the trains, discounting of course the brand new, we don’t run very fucking many of them on this line Alleged fast fucking trains. The others are diesel pushed, busted arse, painted about four thousand fkn time to seal in the rust, doors fuck up with regular monotony, a/c units are fkn useless, freeze ya fkn arse off on a cold day and cook on a hot day pieces of crap. And I haven’t gotten to all the creaks and fkn groans the bogey wheels make, that slow down shit that happens for what reason I have NFI except that its better to make you wait 20 minutes at a loop when you are 10 minutes out of the station, which BTW has a fkn loop to let an express train from ballarat thru to Melbourne, which has fuck all people on it, but the poxy headed, looks and operates like shit unit you are in, is chock to the fucking brim, like cattle class usually is with people whose only wish at the end of the fkn day is to get home. FUCK THE FUCKEN express from Coldsville got nop fkn passengers on it Ballarat, make that fkr wait at the station and save the MAIN LOT of commuters the time. OH, did I mention the train the other night, it was due to leave that very expensive fucked outr looking very poorly run southern cross looks like shit station at 4.45pm. They cancelled the train at 5.05pm. Pretty sharp fucking bunch of muppets hey!. Why!, well because once again the fucking doors would not open on the trains. Then we all get told to hop on the 5.25 from sthn cross, wavy fucking cost a lot roofed and lets the wind in like shit station and essential they put no more FUCKING CARRIAGES ON. NUP, just CRAM THE FKN CATTLE ON IT. People standing up, people sitting on the floor, just another massive cluster fuck. I did hear a conductor prior to this receive a call from some muppet in station control, asking how it all was with the train ( that’s the 4.45) and it was about 4.40 at this point. The conductor pointed out that the train was not AT the platform. Dumb fuck on the other end goes..HEY!, what do you mean. I mean this is not harry fucking potter and the fkr is on platform 10 and a half its NOT FKN HERE!. Well that’s what should have been said to dickwad, got shit for brains on the other end of the radio. V/Line train units are OLD, full of rust and maintained I think by the LOWEST FKN BIDDER, kinda makes ya feel safe and that the system should be ULTRA FKN RELIABLE….NOT. V/LINE IS FKD, the muppets running it and the GUMMIT ARE FKD as well, its not rocket science. They might want to spend time fixing the system rather than trying to penalise the contractors for ultra minor fucking infractions. Lets just look at Germany for example. Its got more people, uses more trains, runs a tighter time table, has ultra fkn extremes of weather and its system beats the fk outta hours. OH and what kinda bubbleheaded moron goes and buys trains that cannot have extra units added..well we do of course, then they spend mega bucks to get a central carriage unit, cos gee fkn wizzz, the population expands and people use PT when times get a bit tight. Put some more fucking units on the BALLARAT LINE ya gumboots, people are sick to fucking death of you gummite headed goons wasting our fkn money on consultants and overseas fkn trips…I WANT RELIABLE FUCKING TRANSPORT JUST OCCASIONALLY would be agreta fucking start.
I should also say, I was really impressed the other night, when I arrived at the station at 4.30 to catch the 4.45pm train and finally got OFF at Bacchus Marsh at 6.30 pm……waaaay to go V/line!.