RIGHT, no point fucking dicking around here with this one, because I have spent a significant amount of time zooming around various website, blogs and so forth and then, this morning it finally slapped me right in the god dam face.
Yes folks, as just about every man and his mangy, flea bitten, one legged, crusty arsed dog wants to be an author, there are I suspect no less than several thousand things which you must do, before you send your “ I just spent 2 years writing it” Novella to a publisher.
From what I have seen, its already got to have been….
Interviews with papers, media outlets, book stores, radio stations and possibly a reading by god himself already arranged.
Costing done as well, then toss in the oh so god dam cleaver section on “ WHY ITS GUNNA SELL”.
This my good friends is just to TIP OF THE FUCKING SPEAR!, if you want to be published.
NOW, pop down to your local book store or any one of the mega chains and take a look at what they have on their shelves, you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to work out what the next little item is going to be. Sitting there you will find an inordinate amount of what joe average will call SHIT. I’m not published, I’m really not even an author in the GREAT SENSE of the fucking word, just a hack, but I do know crap when I see it and those shelves have plenty of the shit.
Next effin hate, I’ll bet my god dam arse the stupid fucking fuck-knuckle of a football player didn’t do half this shit and I see in the paper he is now a PUBLISHED person, which they say, he adds to his list of achievements. GET FUCKED!, I don’t think the gollie headed nupty could string four words together, certainly not unless there was another naked female in the room and then even, it would be dribble laced.
I know, I know, its marketing and I may well be an arsehole going for the TALL POPPY THING….NO!, I’m not. Blokes a fuckwad and there is a writer behind him who has basically done the lot as far as I am concerned.
But back to why I have a serious case of wanting to find a publisher / editor and string the fucker up by his thumbs or her thumbs and generally kick the living god dam fuck outta them.
Tell me, what does a writer do………HEY, guess what, they write, no they don’t do marketing demographic research because in all likely hood they fucking suck at it, possibly suck at writing as well, but why do people list all this stuff that a wannabe Author should do, before sending in the work, knowing full god dam well they shall, in all probability have done a piss poor job of the exercise. Is this almost asking that the author fail, before they get anywhere. NO, I’ll tell you just how they disguise the whole exercise I think. ITS so they do less fucking work, YEAH YEAH YEAH, They have your interests at heart if they decide to pick up your MS, yeah they do work, but don’t try and make out like they give away a PINT OF FUCKING BLOOD in the task of getting that deal.
In some cases, Its who you fucking know, not what ya fucking know. So why , can anybody tell me WHY, WHY THE FUCK must the biblically long fucking paper exercise be completed , along with the MS, and then submitted, I’m just fucking gagging to know. After all, go back to the shelves and have an optic and some of the FUCKING CRAP within.
I really suspect that some of the STEPS, some people put forward in this industry is almost a perpetuation of outright fucking stupidity, I know full well there is a need to vet stuff, but the current structure they have, based on what I see on the bookcases and in the BIN, is somewhat flawed. I’m also willing to bet, that this is the way its been done for a long, I mean LONG FUCKING TIME.
In light of posts on e-books and on line publishing, I cannot help but wonder, if some of the alleged fucking GURUS will actually have a look and see what needs to be CHANGED IN THE PROCESS, because , Again, I’m willing to be it’s the same as it has always been and quite simply. THAT’S FUCKED, that’s not progressive.
Now just a small foot note. Not all editors are like this I would suspect, but unless someone can show me how my current line of thinking is WRONG, there bigger proportion of these individuals ARE!.
Can’t help but wonder just how many flops are out there and whether or not the BIG books subsidise the POOR FUCKING CHOICES the so called fucking Geniuses make that go TITS FUCKING UP!.
Dummy spit OVER!