( Figuratively ) I blew a GASKET!. BIG TIME

Whats good about refrigerators, well they store stuff and keep the shit cool, they stop stuff going off, except for me and they allow you to grab a cold drink at anytime. not too bad really.

Thats exactly what I did at midnight last night. In our walk in pantry, which I DESIGNED BTW, Is our fridge, one of those, we had to have stainless jobbies when we first moved in, you know the type, keeps the cook happy co’s it matches with appliances, not that you can see the fridge mind you, as its IN THE PANTRY. BUT AM I GOING TO ARGUE WITH THE BOSS….FUCK NO!


But its the upside down type one, fridge on top for about 3/4’s of it and a freezer below. So before bed last night I decided on a drink, sitting in the fridge door, is a large bottle of that Juice, not the V8 veggie one, but some mix thats close. Honestly, I am not overly keen on it, but its apparently PULP FREE, not that I give a fuck and that’s mainly because I have not checked out what PULP FUCKING FREE really means. I do know, that if I buy juice that is NOT, Pulp Free, I am in the shit.


SO, I figured, some good juice for in the guts, HAVOCKS, dynamo working internal combustion engine would be a good idea, we reached in and grabbed the Bottle by the scruff of the neck with the left hand and extracted it. Like most Juices, they tend to settle a little bit, so I grab the 1.5 liters or whatever the hell size it is and give it a quick wrist flick with the left hand. Now, If this hand been the RIGHT HAND, it would have undoubtedly been more violent, but left it was.

So with a flick of the wrist we shake the bottle……..and then it happened.

THE FUCKING LID WAS NOT SCREWED ON TIGHT, the fucking thing flew off, orange juice launched itself into the Fridge, down the freezer door, across me, down the back of the shelves into the bloody crisper’s and pretty much tainted every fucking item in the fridge except for shit on the top and second top shelf.

Now, under ANY similar circumstances, this would be cause to go right fucking off, but at midnight, when Hav is ready for some beauty sleep and very tired, I SPAT IT. I think the words were…” FOR FUCK SAKE”, at about 100 decibels. EVERYBODY WOKE UP, everybody came and stuck their heads around the corner but BOTH the BOYS, one of whom is the culprit, took one look and scampered real fucking fast back to their rooms. Possibly a good thing, at that point I would not really have worried about collateral damage, I could have shot both the fuckers.


So and Hour or more later, all sticky, Ill fucking tempered, and me blood running at about 200PSI, I went back to bed, finally went to bed I should say, now this morning, neither of them think they did it. NO, ME!, no way, once again its those fucking gremlins that frequent this joint from time to time.


13 thoughts on “( Figuratively ) I blew a GASKET!. BIG TIME

  1. I just about sprayed pepsi all over myself in laughter.. um I mean sympathy.

    So you are internal combustion, I had always assumed nuclear power.

  2. Lol – just trying to imagine a nuclear powered H! Time to lay a few booby traps of your own!

  3. That’ll teach you to be healthy. Wouldn’t have happened with beer. Crown seals or twist tops, that lid’s staying on.

    Non-pulp-free OJ has the consistency of cold sick running down your throat, not a fan myself so I can see where the Boss is coming from.

    But as an old Inuit Eskimo saying goes, blowing a gasket is better than blowing a seal. Doesn’t taste as fishy apparently.

  4. This is the reason why we love our kids so much. Anyone else doing stuff like this and it would end in tears, and probably blood.

  5. It’s a real shame..no, no i’m serious, it couldn’t happen to BETTER person Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ha ha ha ha

    ha ha


  6. You have now learnt the lesson “always check the security of a container before inverting it” or “water before bed”. Luughing My Arse OFF mate, thanks for sharing.

  7. Lerm – a nuclear powered Hav would surely be against every WMD non-proliferation treaty on the UN’s books, yeah?

  8. No Hahhahah . I mean it. Hahah. STop it.
    Y’know these little peeks into Havocks life are rivetting.
    (Rubs hands together) What’s happening tomorrow, then?

  9. Naut: Glad I made your day, pity the spray didn’t reach the keyboard, but Given time I reckon. OH, I forgot to mention we were on the Auxiliary engine, Yes, the main IS, AIP, what else would such a FINE specimen run on, what with all the Kevlar and reinforced structure the chassis is made from. Nuke..hmm, might have to look at that.

    Lerm: Wait till the little fuckers get STAND TOO, Sat A.M. Zero , still dark hours…

    Doc: I reckon the seal, gasket and bearings were all CLOSE, VERY FUCKING CLOSE. I thinks me best do some research on this PULP FREE gig.

    Domestic: BLOOD…OH YES, VERY NEARLY, little shits are STILL ON MY LIST.

    CHAZ….WHY am I not surprised..lol

    Bangarrrrr…yeah, would you believe about two weeks ago I did it and NO ISSUE, but I did think that I should check it before hand…..Should have listened to that little man in the head..

    Doc..I’m growing to the idea…REALLY GROWING TO IT.

    Brian: Glad ya happy…BASTARD..lol. Wait till I post TODAYS FUCKING TRIBULATIONS..OH YES, IT WAS a great day until about 5pm…THEN IT WENT SOUTH about as fast as a Japanese whaling boat.

  10. Glad my little plan worked.

    Now if you will excuse me I have to email your son the next little annoyance to piss off The Havock.


  11. Has to be AIP as you don’t have time to breathe with the amount you talk!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s