THE Cricket letter ( Not Happy Jan)


XYZ VIC Cricket Comp




Dear Sir / Madam.



As you will be aware the Grand final for the KXXXX MXXXX Cup or Shield, depends on which you view, the medallions or the trophy, was held at BXXXXX Park in BXXXXX Vic.


I understand this venue was selected for the proximity, of being able to conduct multiple games in a small confine, which at face value has some merit. What you will also be aware of is that games hosted by clubs, for example the MXXX, were done so, with them having to comply with certain requirements, it was the clubs responsibility to ensure that the ground was marked or coned off if required to comply with boundary distances. The pitch has crease markings that complied and were visible, and additionally that amenities were provided for the players and so forth. It was also a requirement that the home team provide Lunch for both sides and the Umpires.


This, was fully complied with by the MXXX side, parents and coaches, all striving to help our teams win, but also to present a great image and ensure the kids playing the game had all facilities made available to them , change room facilities included. I also have no doubt, that all the other sides in the competition complied as well.


It was a topic of some discussion before we departed, having known we qualified for the grand Final, that we would be playing on what should be a great surface, given it was the FINAL for the KXXXX MXXXXX cup. Visions of something akin to our ground but better still flashed through everybody’s mind.


Unfortunately, we assumed, that is, I assumed that the VXXX, would put its best foot forward and ensure a great venue. I was not expecting that our team play on a surface like the MCG’s, just not one that looked like it belonged in a third world country, suffering extended drought, lacking in facilities, no administration and populated almost exclusively by halfwits.


Do I seem at this point to be heading down the path of disappointment, you may well if you wish, right now draw that conclusion, for in the following, I am about to point out not only the issues associated with the game venue pre start up, but also the issues during and the unmitigated stupidity and lack off organisational skills displayed by the VXXXX, in delivering us what can only best be described as a shitty ground and venue to play on and at.






Let me at this point also bring to your attention, I am writing this as a parent, this is in no way the view of the MXXX, although I would not be surprised if it was, let alone should I consult with all the other horrified parents and players which were there at the time.




In the interests of keeping this simple, in the forlorn hope it will not be repeated again I will break down the issues as I see them.


1                    Facilities. This I call the basics. Change rooms for the players, toilets for the players, coaches and spectators and umpires. On this we had NIL, that is ZERO at the ground, unless of course you classify the 500 meter walk down hill to the other grounds toilets suitably close. I cannot help but wonder what the players did for RELIEF, should they have required the toilet, which brings us to the issue of public health and possible indecent exposure charges, not to mention having KIDS, getting changed in the open for all and sundry to view. You will I am sure, should you be readers or viewers of the media know about paedophilia. I note, that the VXXXX did provide lunch for the umpires and officials

2                    The Playing Surface ( GROUND). This, is best described as a series of rolling depressions, slightly covered with grass, falling away extensively to the east to a drain, penetrated by cricket net run ups, which generate another series of bare earth, ball kicking entrapments should the players not be aware. The ground was shocking, I will not brook the argument that water restrictions are the issue, its simply a case of somebody not getting off their arse and inspecting the ground. If they have, then the decision making process is flawed and the grounds have been selected for the WRONG REASONS. This is a GRAND FINAL, premier competition, and to serve up the tripe we played on, is third rate and border line criminal or outright stupidity.


3                    THE PITCH or WICKET. Yes well, what can I say. We arrived to find that NO CREASE markings we present, well, just barely visible on the edges if you bent down to look, let alone try to see if you were perhaps PLAYING CRICKET on the pitch or Umpiring a cricket game. This shows that the ground and PITCH in this case was not inspected. Had it been, then we would surely have had lines on it and not have had a parent go BUY a can of white line marking paint, so I might place some lines on the pitch and endeavour, yes folks, endeavour to generate the impression we were playing cricket in Australia and in a GRAND FINAL.



4                    STUMPS & BAILS. NONE PRESENT. Yes, that’s right, we got exceptionally lucky that the opposition still had their set with them, alas had this not been the case we may well have resorted to utilising some domestic rubbish bins should the locals have been forthcoming enough. Because as you should be aware, we cannot utilise council rubbish bins as they are secured and present a set of wickets which are perhaps slightly too large for the games purpose.



You may by have now gathered, I am exceedingly unhappy with the venue we played at, to have such a below par venue for a grand final of the competition, highlights the systematic failure to perform tasks on the organisers behalf or a lack of care, bordering on stupidity if not. You are aware of other grounds, the condition of which is quite good and far exceeds the tripe we were served up to play on and there availability within the metropolitan area. I would suggest that the VXXX, take a long hard look at what was delivered and ensure it is not repeated next year.


I will be bringing this to the attention of CXXXXXX Victoria and the Minister for Sport and Recreation.


This was totally inexcusable and the VXXXX should offer an apology to all players, officials and parents for delivering an unmitigated grounds balls up.





11 thoughts on “THE Cricket letter ( Not Happy Jan)

  1. Awesome letter H. Sounds like the kids (& all concerned got dicked). Hopefully things will hange. Probably they won’t. There are some drongos running things in this country!

  2. Lerm, thanks. I’m no wordsmith, but with a little luck we might get SOME CHANGE. not holding me breath though. Yeah drongos fits the bill nicely.

  3. Nice work, although I’m sure that sentence in paragraph 6 could be made just a little longer if you tried harder.


  4. I wonder if
    A; someone somewhere chewed someone elses arse ragged, or
    B; It wasn’t even read but sent directly to circular file.
    Hopefully it was A.

    As discussed elsewhere SWMBO is up to her eyeballs in Surf Lifesaving, she talks about the curse of the volunteer organisation where you have to take pretty much anyone who turns up. No matter how useless they are and if they screw up badly you are limited in what you can do about it. I’ve spoken to Volunteer Marine Rescue, Bush Fire Brigade, SES etc and they all confirm it.

    However it would seem that this cricket mob are semipro? If this is the case then some 1st rate Arse kicking is in order.

  5. A pretty poor effort on their part. You know regardless you’ll have to check out the ground next year.

  6. Naut: You have NO idea how I restrained myself……

    Mick Thanks

    BBA: I tried to get me point across, NICELY of course, you should have seen the first version…FAAARK!, go see a solicitor job i suspect

    Abe, when I re read the whole thing I went ” RANT”, fuck thats long…BUT FUCK’EM…lol

    Therbs: I figured the first burst should be BIG, BROADSIDE, no fucking around, one chance..

    NBOB, they are semi pro, very closely linked to Cricket vic. I should not have happened.

    BANGAAAAR…HELL YES. I will most likely coach U16’s again next year, time permitting and the rep side, well I might just put me hand up to b HEAD COACH..FUCKING LOOKOUT THEN

    Moko: Thanks MATE.

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